The Art of Conversation

The Ingalls family after Pa retold the story of how the bear he attacked was really a tree stump.

Why is it that families tell the same stories over and over?  I would guesstimate I have heard the story about my aunt sneaking along on my parent's movie date at least 75 times. (Once a year, for sure, and sometimes a bonus rerun.) 

The story goes like this.  My aunt hid in the back of my dad's car because she either felt left out or was going through a bratty stage.  She waited until my parents were 1/2 way to the movie theater before popping up in the back seat.  Surprise!  The story ends there.  

". . . and that concludes the exciting retelling of why I quit teaching in MPS."

I am certainly guilty of telling my stale stories over and over.  Like the old chestnut of how I decided to quit teaching in the Milwaukee Public Schools.  It was the day students set a dumpster fire while I was suffering through a staff meeting.  Even I have tired of hearing this story.  Everyone has heard it and I should probably wait until my far-in-the-future grandchildren ask me "Grandma, why did you quit teaching in Milwaukee?" before I tell it again. 

Move in ready!

If I want deeper family conversations, I could try asking questions.  Let's return to the familiar "Aunt Popping Up on Movie Date" story.  Here are some questions I could ask:
What were my parents talking about when they thought they were alone?  Did my aunt get in trouble?  What movie were they going to? And did my dad buy popcorn because he never bought us popcorn at the movies.  What was their favorite date?  (With this question I run the risk of hearing the familiar "We were living in a chicken coop and our date night consisted of buying the latest Snoopy comic book and reading it together."  Would you believe I have never asked them to describe what living in a chicken coop was like?  Or.  Was it common for people to live in chicken coops in Kentucky?  Or.  How much did it cost to rent and were chickens part of the deal?)

Best dysfunctional book ever.  Warning:  You will be stepping through countless f-bombs in this book.

I brainstormed some ways to get your family to talk about new topics.  I have no idea if they are effective because my family isn't very cooperative.

• Do different things to create new memories.  If you always take long naps on Thanksgiving, trying making a craft you found on Pinterest.   (Okay.  That sounds ridiculous, but you get the idea.  Do something different.)
• Suggest a family book club.  The first book pic should showcase a fun, dysfunctional Southern family.  Plan on your dad and brothers not participating.
• If the book club idea seems too advanced, ask your family members what their favorite book is and read it.    
• Make an effort to spend more time with your family.  Try not to spend this time napping or complaining about the state of your mother's spice cabinet. 

I am out of ideas.  How do you get your family to keep it real, new, and interesting?

Prairie Eydie