The Art of Reverse Gossip

This is my 29th year of teaching.  I have seized LOTS of opportunities to participate in and spread gossip. 

Listen, here is a juicy bit from years ago.  Once upon a time, a school security guard was caught selling weed to students.  He was put on leave WITH pay until the situation was figured out.  (OF course, all the teachers started researching how to hawk weed because leave with pay sounded magical.)  

Looking back, here is what I actually remember . . .

• I never directly talked to the security guard because . . . what would I say?  "Hey.  Is selling drugs more lucrative than leading drama club?  Just wondering."
•  Teachers were livid because we were down a security guard.  In those days security guards would remove uncontrollable students from your classroom.
• The situation was never resolved.  The last time I saw the security guard was at the end-of-the-year celebration.  He was having a great time.  
• I have no clue if the security guard gossip was true.

Avoiding holiday parties is on my nonnegotiable list.  (Here is the link for more on my nonnegotiables The Art of Nonnegotiables )  But, I was more than happy to listen to who pounded shots, who flirted with the bartender, and who cried.  I am sure I passed on the party info.  Because why not?  I heard the info second hand, so it must be true. And party poopers deserve to know what is going on.

Sometimes gossip is necessary since it conveys important information - like if your job is being cut or if health insurance premiums are going up AGAIN.  It gives you time to prepare before being delivered the news first hand.  And if it turns out not to be true, then yay!  Congratulations.  You have a job and health insurance. 

I first heard about the concept of "Reverse Gossip" on the Happier podcast.  Episode 181.

It is a new school year.  A fresh start to do better.  I have decided to practice "Reverse Gossip."  Reverse gossip is the practice of passing along positive comments and observations.  If all works well, the positive words will eventually make it back to the person you were reverse gossiping about.  How great is that?     

For those Prairie Friends who want to get scientific, there is something called, "Trait Transfer" - meaning what we say about others - people think about us.  So, if I am droning on at the water fountain about Sally's negativity, people will start to see me as negative.  BUT if I am sharing how Sally always has creative solutions to problems, people will see me as a creative problem solver.  

Is there a place in your life for "Reverse Gossip?"  This is all new to me.  I will let you know how it goes.

Prairie Eydie