I grew up thinking envy was a sin - I vaguely remember something about not envying your neighbor's wife. My neighbor, Audrey, lives alone and sometimes I wish my three kids would move in with her. If that happened, I would definitely not envy Audrey. I see my other neighbor twice a year. In Spring he makes a frantic attempt to weed his hosta beds and in Summer he works on his deck for an afternoon. I have my own hosta collection and deck, so no envy there.
It turns out the envy can help you know yourself better. Envy means someone has something you wish you could have. Envy shines a spotlight on something missing from your own life. So, figure out who you envy and work to bring what they have into your life.
I decided to look where envy abounds - Facebook. Where everyone is more talented, more photogenic, more traveled, more popular and more loved than you are.
Some "Facebook Envies" were easy to bring into my life. Like my friend who has beautiful skin and hair. Rather than being mad at her for being gorgeous, I asked her what skin care products she used. She happily listed off all of her potions and even forwarded me the links on Amazon. I used every one of my friend's suggestions and threw my old lotions, cleansers, and toners away. Friends have noticed my skin looking better and I have passed the list on to them. (Dear reader, you may think I am shallow for envying beautiful skin. Truth be told, I am shallow about my skin. But I recently turned 50 and need to avoid a wrinkle induced nervous breakdown so I can continue to raise my kids.)
I also have a friend who posts weekly pics of what appeared to be fun Family Game Nights. GASP. Her kids were enthusiastically high fiving each other. No one was throwing game pieces and no Monopoly boards were in sight. What parent wouldn't be envious of a game night that actually looked fun? I asked my friend which games she would recommend and quickly ordered them. She also said sugary foods would perk up the most sullen of teens. I took her tip and added root beer floats to game night. Playing games with the kids is now more tolerable thanks to a fresh selection of games and extra calories. No more headaches or temper tantrums from this Mama.
Many of my friends are successful writers. Though happy for their accomplishments, I was also envious. Truthfully, there was no reason in the world why I should be a successful writer because my writing goal, at the time, was to write a daily sentence in my journal. One sentence. Every day.
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| I have had this book for 25 ISH years. My grandma recommended that I buy it. My copy is autographed, coffee stained, swollen with water damage, and possibly sprouting some dangerous black mold. This book always gets me writing again,. Thank you Natalie Goldberg! |
I needed to up my writing game. Once again I dragged out Natalie Goldberg's book Wild Minds and started moving my hand across the page - every day. I didn't need to query my writer friends about how they achieved success. I knew the answer. They keep their butts in their chairs and write, not letting themselves get distracted with planting fairy gardens and organizing spices in shoe racks.
My life got better after shining a spotlight on people I envy. I was able to improve my skin's hydration, enjoy family game night, and start writing again. Whom do you envy?
Prairie Eydie
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| It is just amazing what can be done with shoe storage! |
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