The Art of Accepting and Expecting

Gretchen Rubin, of Happiness Project fame, says:

 

 

I used to focus only on expecting more from myself.  I would come up with crazy goals.  Take my writing goal for example.  

 

It looks like an inspiring book, right?  The mountain, the birds, the soothing colors. . .

 

I used to be a follower of Julia Cameron's program laid out in the The Artist's Way.  (Okay, follower is too strong of a word. I owned the book and read many pages in it.)  A cornerstone of her program is to write three morning pages in your journal right after you wake up.  In theory, the "Morning Pages" practice could lead you to a clearer mind, less anxiety, and better ideas. 

 

 

Anna:  Duke must you wear a kilt to our wedding?  Duke:  Oh Anna.   We have been through so much together.  Starvation.  The Police Commissioner election.  Avalanches.  Pirates.  Surely we can get past this wedding kilt. 

 

Dutifully, I would set my alarm clock to 4:15 AM so I could write my 3 morning pages.  Because I am from the Midwest, I consistently filled those spiral notebook pages even though I HATED every minute of it.  I wrote grocery lists.  I wrote dialogue for Duke and Anna of General Hospital fame.  I wrote free verse poetry about teaching.  I wrote "I have nothing to write" over and over.  For me, the morning page practice lead to anxiety, dumb ideas, and foggy brain.

 

Now I accept myself and my writing practice.  I keep a one sentence journal.  Every day I write one sentence that sums up the day.  It is okay if the sentences are run-ons because no one is correcting my work.  Here are some of my journal entries:

 

Nov. 24 - I didn't want to cook a Thanksgiving meal, so Gus and I grilled steaks.

 

July 12 - I made two batches of coleslaw today to use up the CSA cabbage and then I got another cabbage in today's CSA share.

 

Aug. 22 - I bought plants back to school today and then left immediately.

 

One sentence can bring back memories of wonderful meals, transitions, and happiness.  I remember August 22, 2016.  It was a super hot day and two of my plants tipped over in the back of my van.  In fact, the dirt is still there!  I had just moved classrooms, again, and was breaking tasks into manageable steps. 

 

Seriously?  Another cabbage?

 

 I still write, of course, but I write when it works into my schedule.  Also, my writing practice doesn't include filling in three pages in my notebook and waking up at 4:15.  It is a balance between  accepting and expecting.